The Big Gesture

    You walk into the room and everything suddenly goes still, everyone is watching but all you can see is him. He’s perfect and about to let you and the rest of the world know that you are all he sees and all he could ever want for the rest of his life…..he’s about to make the big gesture and do something daringly romantic to prove his love. It’s the perfect fairy tale and every girls dream…..but it’s not reality.

   I recently spent a day watching romantic comedies and found one similarity through out all of them…the big gesture. Anyone who has ever seen any romantic movie knows what I’m talking about. It’s that moment when the man wakes up and realizes that he can not live another day without her and rushes off to make her stay, usually after he lets her down in some way and comes close to losing her forever. In the movies it always works. He makes the big gesture and she falls into his arms and they kiss and live happily ever after. Are these movies and stories that we have been told our whole lives part to blame on our dating issues? Are all of us secretly waiting for the big gesture and holding on to unrealistic expectations of living happily ever after?

   My whole life I have been a hopeless romantic and suffer from the awe affect whenever the part of the movie gets to the big gesture. However I am also realistic and know that these things only exist in movies and novels. Is it however possible that many of us hold onto the way that a man should love us based on what we have been shown through these stories? How many women have had that big fight with their boyfriend and when he leaves expect him to come rushing back confessing his love and get let down when it doesn’t happen. How many of us have been guilty of criticizing a past love because he doesn’t show his affections in a big over the top kind of way? Is it possible that we see happily ever after as all sunny days and are too quick to give up at the first sight of rain?

   Don’t get me wrong I am not saying all women do these things nor am I saying that we should hold on to relationships that are clearly dead in the water. I’m also not saying we should settle. I’m just saying that life is not a fairytale and we can’t expect prince charming to be unflawed. We need to make our own stories and accept that happily ever after is not always going to be a walk in the park.

   I expect my prince charming will have his own flaws but I will love him not only despite of them but possibly even because of them. I don’t think he’s going to be society’s version of perfect but perfect for me. I see happily ever after as something that we will have to work at. I see bumps in the road, fights and times when it might not be easy. I also see us working through these times together and never giving up because it’s the easy thing to do.

   It’s not about big gestures and riding off into the sunset. It’s about finding someone who you want to wake up to in the morning and go to sleep with at night. It’s about letting go of unrealistic expectations and finding something real and right for you. Don’t let theses stories hold you back from your own happy ending. Life is what we make it and we control our destiny.         

  

A Creative Outlet For Life’s Frustrations #1 Be Real

Alright here goes my attempt into the world of blogging. I really don’t know if anyone will ever care to read what I have to say but if that ends up being the case I guess this will be nothing more then a outlet for me to rant about what’s ever on my mind and give some of my friends a break from my unstoppable mouth and wide variety of opinions. I’m calling this blog Spit It Out for the simple fact that I say what’s on my mind and wish others would follow my lead. Too many people spend too much time and energy avoiding the truth or trying to beat around the bush when in all reality they should just “spit it out.”

That being said it is only appropriate for my first topic of discussion to be the issue that many people have with just saying what they think and meaning what they say. This issue has always boggled my mind. True, part of this might be the fact that I myself do not suffer from this problem. I tend to say what I think whether or not any one really wants to hear it. But why is it that so many people feel the need to avoid what’s really on their mind? Is it a fear of the people around them rejecting what they have to say? Is it just insecurity? Or is it at times just easier to play games and only show other what you think that they want to see? I feel that there are many people that hold back because of the first two reasons named and I hope these people some day are able to break away and be themselves. I however have a particular interest in the third. The thought of putting on a show for those to see only what you want them to or what you think they want to see is a joke to me. I can think of so many situations when this comes into play. Maybe you are trying to suck up to a boss or maybe it’s to impress someone of the opposite sex, whatever the case may be this is usually a bad idea all together. Eventually your true colors will show and this fake persona will end up kicking you when you’re down. No one can keep up the act forever and when it all comes out you will be the one left looking like a d bag. So if anyone is reading this and knows someone who suffers from being a number three, please feel free to call them out because someone really needs to before they let down the people around them and end up the butt of every joke.

So I guess the moral of this story is just being real. Be you. You might be surprised that the outcome of being real and putting all your cards on the table is better then the superficial shell that you hide behind.