The Big Gesture

    You walk into the room and everything suddenly goes still, everyone is watching but all you can see is him. He’s perfect and about to let you and the rest of the world know that you are all he sees and all he could ever want for the rest of his life…..he’s about to make the big gesture and do something daringly romantic to prove his love. It’s the perfect fairy tale and every girls dream…..but it’s not reality.

   I recently spent a day watching romantic comedies and found one similarity through out all of them…the big gesture. Anyone who has ever seen any romantic movie knows what I’m talking about. It’s that moment when the man wakes up and realizes that he can not live another day without her and rushes off to make her stay, usually after he lets her down in some way and comes close to losing her forever. In the movies it always works. He makes the big gesture and she falls into his arms and they kiss and live happily ever after. Are these movies and stories that we have been told our whole lives part to blame on our dating issues? Are all of us secretly waiting for the big gesture and holding on to unrealistic expectations of living happily ever after?

   My whole life I have been a hopeless romantic and suffer from the awe affect whenever the part of the movie gets to the big gesture. However I am also realistic and know that these things only exist in movies and novels. Is it however possible that many of us hold onto the way that a man should love us based on what we have been shown through these stories? How many women have had that big fight with their boyfriend and when he leaves expect him to come rushing back confessing his love and get let down when it doesn’t happen. How many of us have been guilty of criticizing a past love because he doesn’t show his affections in a big over the top kind of way? Is it possible that we see happily ever after as all sunny days and are too quick to give up at the first sight of rain?

   Don’t get me wrong I am not saying all women do these things nor am I saying that we should hold on to relationships that are clearly dead in the water. I’m also not saying we should settle. I’m just saying that life is not a fairytale and we can’t expect prince charming to be unflawed. We need to make our own stories and accept that happily ever after is not always going to be a walk in the park.

   I expect my prince charming will have his own flaws but I will love him not only despite of them but possibly even because of them. I don’t think he’s going to be society’s version of perfect but perfect for me. I see happily ever after as something that we will have to work at. I see bumps in the road, fights and times when it might not be easy. I also see us working through these times together and never giving up because it’s the easy thing to do.

   It’s not about big gestures and riding off into the sunset. It’s about finding someone who you want to wake up to in the morning and go to sleep with at night. It’s about letting go of unrealistic expectations and finding something real and right for you. Don’t let theses stories hold you back from your own happy ending. Life is what we make it and we control our destiny.