The prelude to My book "A Day in My World"

Prelude

            I could feel his eyes on me as I walked to my car. This was a good thing. Generally when a man watches you walk away, you have his attention and he will spend the next few hours thinking about nothing else but you. I was in total bliss; could I have finally met a good guy? One who would accept me and love me? As the thoughts raced in my head the ground beneath my feet suddenly changed and before I had a chance to stop it my ankle went sideways leaving me flat on my face.

            “Perfect!” I mumbled under my breath, while I bouncing from the ground, as fast as I had fallen onto it.

     Still feeling his eyes on me I couldn’t face turning around to witness his reaction to my not so graceful exit. This was far from an unusual occurrence for me. As a matter of fact these types of situations seemed to have a permanent presence in my day to day life. Welcome to the life of Sophie Ann Clark.   

        Just a little something I'm working on.   

Deception and lies

     Everyone does it…tells those “little white lies” in hopes of sparing someone’s feelings or to cover their own butt. You know the “No your new hair cut isn’t bad, it looks good.” Or the “No I’m sure he likes you but he’s just in a weird spot right now.” I’ve been thinking a lot the last few days about dishonesty, stretching the truth and trust overall which makes me wonder a few things……..When do the little lies become not so little? How many of these does it take before you lose trust? And most importantly where do you draw the line and risk hurting feelings and suffer the consequences to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

    I suppose the answers to these questions vary from person to person but I know personally I will always prefer the truth over a lie. For me I have a hard time understanding the point of lying. This is especially true when it comes to those who are closest to me. If my outfit makes me look like a back up dancer in a Lady Gaga video, I would like you to tell me and not let me leave the house. It’s quit clear to me that if I would rather hear the truth about the little things that the bigger stuff is most definitely worth hearing…..point blank.

   I know that with some truths you do risk getting people mad at you or hurting their feelings but sometimes these things need to happen for a person to see the bigger picture. If you are dating a lying, cheating, dirt bag and all the people around you are to scared to hurt your feelings and don’t tell you, you will be more hurt in the end that you never knew.

   This brings me to the last point, trust. I have always been big on trusting the people in my life until they give me a reason not to. When this happens I respond in one of two ways. If the trust was damaged in a smaller scale way, my guard is going to be up with this person. I will be sure not to allow myself to be in situations with them that put me into the position to have to trust in them. This smaller scale lack of trust may go back to normal but only in time, after they start to earn trust back. On the other side is the major scale break in trust. These are major lies and betrayals and in my mind there is only one way to handle these. Cut these people out completely. If someone is willing to throw you under a bus to benefit or profit in anyway they are untrustworthy and not people you need in your life.

    I know that the world is an imperfect place and I know that there will always be people that will choose the easy lie over the truth. I’m just asking that if you read this, you stop and think before you tell the lie. Think about the repercussions the lie could have, who it might hurt and how you would feel if the situation was reversed. Is it really worth it?

A clear conscious is the only way to a happy heart :)          

A Little Poem....

Days go by and time goes on

Feeling lost in a world where I do not belong

Closing my eyes with hopes

Of a brighter day

Only to awaken with nothing more then

 The same shade of gray

It’s hard to understand

How I have gotten to be where I am today

Letting myself down again

Just because it seems to be the way

The way to find

Whatever it is that I’m looking for

The way to escape from the reality

Of the ever revolving door

The sound of the ticking clock

Will never truly silence

It just grows louder with time

And becomes more violent

But once again I will close my eyes

With the promise of a brighter day

Who knows if tomorrow

Will still end in gray

Friendship

    Today is one of those days that have me thinking a lot about some of the most important people in my life, my friends. I grew up in a small town and I have had some of my closest friends almost my whole life. Together we have been through good times, bad times, getting in and out of trouble, laughter, tears and so on. I can’t even begin to imagine where I would be today or the person I might have become had I never had these people in my life.

   When I was little I never could have imagined where life would take all of us. Chasing boys around the playground trying to kiss them, trying to fly off chairs telling each other secrets and the infamous “swearing club” how was I ever supposed to know that all these moments would create lasting bonds.

   As we got older and we started to change into wild and crazy teenagers more friends emerged and we all made some unwise decisions. All though I know at this time in all of our lives we put our parents and school staff through hell I can’t help but think back at some memories and laugh. There were crazy parties, mud wrestling, goofy sayings, dancing, playing in the rain, and making homemade T-Shirts. We lived our lives day to day without a care in the world, never thinking about tomorrow or the consequences of our decisions. We also supported each other through getting in trouble, first loves, break ups, and problems in our home lives. We were each others pillars of strength and shoulders to cry on, further deepening the bonds.

  It seemed like in the blink of an eye we changed into adults. We all had to get jobs and support ourselves, making time to see each others harder to come by. Even through coming into adulthood and not seeing each other as often as we use to, we still have continued to grow and offer support to one and other. I have watched some of my craziest friends settle down, get married and become loving caring parents to their own children. I have watched us all change and grow together. I can honestly say, hands down, that I am proud to call these people my friends. They are my other family, possibly the family that knows me better then I at times know myself. For them I am truly grateful.

  I can only hope that anyone who reads this has had the honor of building the relationships I have. Time might take us different places but it’s important to never forget where you came from or the people who helped you get there. To all my dear friends, I love you all and I want to thank you for always being there for me through the good and the bad! I am truly blessed!  

           

V Day………..

   Once again it is February 14^th…..better known as Valentines Day. Here we go again with a day filled with high expectations, stress, and for some the feeling of being 100% unwanted or appreciated.

   I know today is a day that should be based around love and all kisses and rainbows but lets get real….Valentines Day is really nothing more then a over commercialized marketing scheme that tells you to spend money buying cards, flowers, jewelry and candy. Yes I know for some people this really is a day about celebrating their love but for most of us this is not true. Women get mad when their men forget or don’t get the hints (ex: a bracelet? I wanted a ring!!) And men get frustrated trying to get her something that will make her happy and not piss her off. Then there are the single people out there that just get everyone else’s love thrown into their face like a big fat slap that they are alone.

    Yes I have been a participant of this holiday in the past, and with the right person I might even go out for a movie or dinner and do the whole V day thing again….but without expectations. For me personally I’d rather celebrate my love for someone with that person on an anniversary or another day that is special to us, not on a day that I have to share with the rest of the masses.

  I know that this might not be the opinion of many people and that’s okay. I’m just putting it out there for those of you who understand my stance and feel the same way. I will let people be happy today…if they actually are. I just ask that you don’t read this blog or talk to me while celebrating sweetest day…..Cause I won’t be able to hold back on that joke.

Just saying!!!  

       

To text or not to text?

        The world today is so much different then it use to be. Everyone is always busy and on the go. To keep up with this shift in the times cells phones and social networking have taken on a large role in how we communicate with the rest of the world. We now have caller id, text messaging and IMs. With all these devices to communicate you are able to contact or be contacted at any time, any place, Well that is if you want to. Has the change in times and overload of technology actually made it easier for us to be lazy and rude to the people in our lives?

          I’m bringing this point up today because of a major pet peeve of my own. Knowing that it is easier now then ever to contact the people in my life I tend to get annoyed when I get no response back. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying that when I hit send I expect people to drop whatever it is that they are doing to talk to me, but I do expect some sort of response when they are free just out of common courtesy.

          When I fall victim to the avoidant phone bandit my automatic response is to give up. Why should I continue to try and communicate with someone who does not want to talk to me? Seems like a pointless battle. Yes first time offenders are cut some slack but the constant dodgers just make me feel as though they are wasting my time. On the flip side of my response to the rude phone habits of others are those who become obsessed with getting a response. You know the ones who will send out twenty texts in an hour asking why you’re not responding. This is also not cool. Honestly this makes you look like a psycho stalker and I can no longer blame the person not responding for ignoring you…just saying!

          After much consideration on this issue I came up with some common phone courtesy guidelines. A do’s and don’ts if you will.

It is okay to not respond to a text or call under the following circumstances:

               1.     During an emergency

               2.    It’s after midnight and or you are sleeping

               3.    The person trying to contact you has been asked not to contact you ever again.

               4.    The person who is trying to contact you is pulling the obsessive behavior talked about earlier (ex twenty what’s wrong text in an hour)

               5.    The person trying to contact you is trying to start some form of drama

          I also think it’s only fair to also set the following rules if you are the victim of the phone dodging bandit.

1.     Do not obsess over the lack of response and under NO circumstances continuously keep dialing or texting….you look like a crazy person and no one wants to talk to crazy.

2.    Do not get really mad or sad. It’s not worth it.

3.    Allow the dodger a chance to explain if it comes up why they are dodging…they might have a good reason. (This does not mean you hunt them down and corner them for an explanation…that goes back to crazy.)

     In closing, if you are a dodging phone bandit…stop being lazy and upsetting the people in your life. You should be happy that people want to talk to you and you should give them the opportunity to do so. Not responding just because you are lazy is rude. If you get dodged yes you have the right to be annoyed but don’t be crazy it will do you no good. Brush it off and move on and talking to someone who values conversation with you.  

    

                  

Why no what if’s

          Through out my life I have been a risk taker. I have always been the first to make snap decisions and jump at opportunities without a second thought. This is a big part of who I am and I am constantly having to defend it. So today I have decided to write a little bit about my reasoning behind this part of my personality to give those who like to criticize and judge me a chance to open up their minds, even if for just a minute.

            I am going to start by pointing out that no one has the right or will ever have the right to tell me how to live my life or what decisions are best for me. This is something that I must decide and I am more than happy to listen to your opinions, however in the end I will choose what I feel is best.

            I strongly feel that when an opportunity presents its self that I should jump at it because who knows if it will ever come around again. I am the type of person who can not spend my life wondering “what if?” I don’t want to wake up one day and wonder what my life would be like if I had made that big move or accepted that job that wasn’t totally conventional. I don’t ever want to get older and feel like I am stuck or wish that I had gotten in more life experiences while I still had the chance. I refuse to become bitter and angry with myself for not taking chances.

            If over the years I had taken less risk or done everything in a conventional and expected kind of way, I would not have half the stories, memories or learning experiences that I have. I wouldn’t have had the pleasure of meeting some of the most awesome people I have ever met. I wouldn’t be the same person that I am today. Even when things didn’t work out how I thought they would I have never felt that I wasn’t right where I needed to be at that point in my life.

            I don’t live my life by staying inside the lines. I want to fully experience every moment of it. I want to live it to the fullest with no regrets!  

            We only get one shot at life and I plan to spend mine living it! I’m going to continue to be bold and do the unexpected. I’m going to jump right in and not look back. I’m not asking anyone to fully understand my way of living or change what is right for them. I’m just asking for them to accept it.

             "Stand upright, speak thy thoughts, declare The truth thou hast, that all may share; Be bold, proclaim it everywhere: They only live who dare." -Voltaire