Deception and lies

     Everyone does it…tells those “little white lies” in hopes of sparing someone’s feelings or to cover their own butt. You know the “No your new hair cut isn’t bad, it looks good.” Or the “No I’m sure he likes you but he’s just in a weird spot right now.” I’ve been thinking a lot the last few days about dishonesty, stretching the truth and trust overall which makes me wonder a few things……..When do the little lies become not so little? How many of these does it take before you lose trust? And most importantly where do you draw the line and risk hurting feelings and suffer the consequences to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

    I suppose the answers to these questions vary from person to person but I know personally I will always prefer the truth over a lie. For me I have a hard time understanding the point of lying. This is especially true when it comes to those who are closest to me. If my outfit makes me look like a back up dancer in a Lady Gaga video, I would like you to tell me and not let me leave the house. It’s quit clear to me that if I would rather hear the truth about the little things that the bigger stuff is most definitely worth hearing…..point blank.

   I know that with some truths you do risk getting people mad at you or hurting their feelings but sometimes these things need to happen for a person to see the bigger picture. If you are dating a lying, cheating, dirt bag and all the people around you are to scared to hurt your feelings and don’t tell you, you will be more hurt in the end that you never knew.

   This brings me to the last point, trust. I have always been big on trusting the people in my life until they give me a reason not to. When this happens I respond in one of two ways. If the trust was damaged in a smaller scale way, my guard is going to be up with this person. I will be sure not to allow myself to be in situations with them that put me into the position to have to trust in them. This smaller scale lack of trust may go back to normal but only in time, after they start to earn trust back. On the other side is the major scale break in trust. These are major lies and betrayals and in my mind there is only one way to handle these. Cut these people out completely. If someone is willing to throw you under a bus to benefit or profit in anyway they are untrustworthy and not people you need in your life.

    I know that the world is an imperfect place and I know that there will always be people that will choose the easy lie over the truth. I’m just asking that if you read this, you stop and think before you tell the lie. Think about the repercussions the lie could have, who it might hurt and how you would feel if the situation was reversed. Is it really worth it?

A clear conscious is the only way to a happy heart :)          

To text or not to text?

        The world today is so much different then it use to be. Everyone is always busy and on the go. To keep up with this shift in the times cells phones and social networking have taken on a large role in how we communicate with the rest of the world. We now have caller id, text messaging and IMs. With all these devices to communicate you are able to contact or be contacted at any time, any place, Well that is if you want to. Has the change in times and overload of technology actually made it easier for us to be lazy and rude to the people in our lives?

          I’m bringing this point up today because of a major pet peeve of my own. Knowing that it is easier now then ever to contact the people in my life I tend to get annoyed when I get no response back. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying that when I hit send I expect people to drop whatever it is that they are doing to talk to me, but I do expect some sort of response when they are free just out of common courtesy.

          When I fall victim to the avoidant phone bandit my automatic response is to give up. Why should I continue to try and communicate with someone who does not want to talk to me? Seems like a pointless battle. Yes first time offenders are cut some slack but the constant dodgers just make me feel as though they are wasting my time. On the flip side of my response to the rude phone habits of others are those who become obsessed with getting a response. You know the ones who will send out twenty texts in an hour asking why you’re not responding. This is also not cool. Honestly this makes you look like a psycho stalker and I can no longer blame the person not responding for ignoring you…just saying!

          After much consideration on this issue I came up with some common phone courtesy guidelines. A do’s and don’ts if you will.

It is okay to not respond to a text or call under the following circumstances:

               1.     During an emergency

               2.    It’s after midnight and or you are sleeping

               3.    The person trying to contact you has been asked not to contact you ever again.

               4.    The person who is trying to contact you is pulling the obsessive behavior talked about earlier (ex twenty what’s wrong text in an hour)

               5.    The person trying to contact you is trying to start some form of drama

          I also think it’s only fair to also set the following rules if you are the victim of the phone dodging bandit.

1.     Do not obsess over the lack of response and under NO circumstances continuously keep dialing or texting….you look like a crazy person and no one wants to talk to crazy.

2.    Do not get really mad or sad. It’s not worth it.

3.    Allow the dodger a chance to explain if it comes up why they are dodging…they might have a good reason. (This does not mean you hunt them down and corner them for an explanation…that goes back to crazy.)

     In closing, if you are a dodging phone bandit…stop being lazy and upsetting the people in your life. You should be happy that people want to talk to you and you should give them the opportunity to do so. Not responding just because you are lazy is rude. If you get dodged yes you have the right to be annoyed but don’t be crazy it will do you no good. Brush it off and move on and talking to someone who values conversation with you.  

    

                  

Why no what if’s

          Through out my life I have been a risk taker. I have always been the first to make snap decisions and jump at opportunities without a second thought. This is a big part of who I am and I am constantly having to defend it. So today I have decided to write a little bit about my reasoning behind this part of my personality to give those who like to criticize and judge me a chance to open up their minds, even if for just a minute.

            I am going to start by pointing out that no one has the right or will ever have the right to tell me how to live my life or what decisions are best for me. This is something that I must decide and I am more than happy to listen to your opinions, however in the end I will choose what I feel is best.

            I strongly feel that when an opportunity presents its self that I should jump at it because who knows if it will ever come around again. I am the type of person who can not spend my life wondering “what if?” I don’t want to wake up one day and wonder what my life would be like if I had made that big move or accepted that job that wasn’t totally conventional. I don’t ever want to get older and feel like I am stuck or wish that I had gotten in more life experiences while I still had the chance. I refuse to become bitter and angry with myself for not taking chances.

            If over the years I had taken less risk or done everything in a conventional and expected kind of way, I would not have half the stories, memories or learning experiences that I have. I wouldn’t have had the pleasure of meeting some of the most awesome people I have ever met. I wouldn’t be the same person that I am today. Even when things didn’t work out how I thought they would I have never felt that I wasn’t right where I needed to be at that point in my life.

            I don’t live my life by staying inside the lines. I want to fully experience every moment of it. I want to live it to the fullest with no regrets!  

            We only get one shot at life and I plan to spend mine living it! I’m going to continue to be bold and do the unexpected. I’m going to jump right in and not look back. I’m not asking anyone to fully understand my way of living or change what is right for them. I’m just asking for them to accept it.

             "Stand upright, speak thy thoughts, declare The truth thou hast, that all may share; Be bold, proclaim it everywhere: They only live who dare." -Voltaire