The prelude to My book "A Day in My World"

Prelude

            I could feel his eyes on me as I walked to my car. This was a good thing. Generally when a man watches you walk away, you have his attention and he will spend the next few hours thinking about nothing else but you. I was in total bliss; could I have finally met a good guy? One who would accept me and love me? As the thoughts raced in my head the ground beneath my feet suddenly changed and before I had a chance to stop it my ankle went sideways leaving me flat on my face.

            “Perfect!” I mumbled under my breath, while I bouncing from the ground, as fast as I had fallen onto it.

     Still feeling his eyes on me I couldn’t face turning around to witness his reaction to my not so graceful exit. This was far from an unusual occurrence for me. As a matter of fact these types of situations seemed to have a permanent presence in my day to day life. Welcome to the life of Sophie Ann Clark.   

        Just a little something I'm working on.   

Friendship

    Today is one of those days that have me thinking a lot about some of the most important people in my life, my friends. I grew up in a small town and I have had some of my closest friends almost my whole life. Together we have been through good times, bad times, getting in and out of trouble, laughter, tears and so on. I can’t even begin to imagine where I would be today or the person I might have become had I never had these people in my life.

   When I was little I never could have imagined where life would take all of us. Chasing boys around the playground trying to kiss them, trying to fly off chairs telling each other secrets and the infamous “swearing club” how was I ever supposed to know that all these moments would create lasting bonds.

   As we got older and we started to change into wild and crazy teenagers more friends emerged and we all made some unwise decisions. All though I know at this time in all of our lives we put our parents and school staff through hell I can’t help but think back at some memories and laugh. There were crazy parties, mud wrestling, goofy sayings, dancing, playing in the rain, and making homemade T-Shirts. We lived our lives day to day without a care in the world, never thinking about tomorrow or the consequences of our decisions. We also supported each other through getting in trouble, first loves, break ups, and problems in our home lives. We were each others pillars of strength and shoulders to cry on, further deepening the bonds.

  It seemed like in the blink of an eye we changed into adults. We all had to get jobs and support ourselves, making time to see each others harder to come by. Even through coming into adulthood and not seeing each other as often as we use to, we still have continued to grow and offer support to one and other. I have watched some of my craziest friends settle down, get married and become loving caring parents to their own children. I have watched us all change and grow together. I can honestly say, hands down, that I am proud to call these people my friends. They are my other family, possibly the family that knows me better then I at times know myself. For them I am truly grateful.

  I can only hope that anyone who reads this has had the honor of building the relationships I have. Time might take us different places but it’s important to never forget where you came from or the people who helped you get there. To all my dear friends, I love you all and I want to thank you for always being there for me through the good and the bad! I am truly blessed!  

           

The Big Gesture

    You walk into the room and everything suddenly goes still, everyone is watching but all you can see is him. He’s perfect and about to let you and the rest of the world know that you are all he sees and all he could ever want for the rest of his life…..he’s about to make the big gesture and do something daringly romantic to prove his love. It’s the perfect fairy tale and every girls dream…..but it’s not reality.

   I recently spent a day watching romantic comedies and found one similarity through out all of them…the big gesture. Anyone who has ever seen any romantic movie knows what I’m talking about. It’s that moment when the man wakes up and realizes that he can not live another day without her and rushes off to make her stay, usually after he lets her down in some way and comes close to losing her forever. In the movies it always works. He makes the big gesture and she falls into his arms and they kiss and live happily ever after. Are these movies and stories that we have been told our whole lives part to blame on our dating issues? Are all of us secretly waiting for the big gesture and holding on to unrealistic expectations of living happily ever after?

   My whole life I have been a hopeless romantic and suffer from the awe affect whenever the part of the movie gets to the big gesture. However I am also realistic and know that these things only exist in movies and novels. Is it however possible that many of us hold onto the way that a man should love us based on what we have been shown through these stories? How many women have had that big fight with their boyfriend and when he leaves expect him to come rushing back confessing his love and get let down when it doesn’t happen. How many of us have been guilty of criticizing a past love because he doesn’t show his affections in a big over the top kind of way? Is it possible that we see happily ever after as all sunny days and are too quick to give up at the first sight of rain?

   Don’t get me wrong I am not saying all women do these things nor am I saying that we should hold on to relationships that are clearly dead in the water. I’m also not saying we should settle. I’m just saying that life is not a fairytale and we can’t expect prince charming to be unflawed. We need to make our own stories and accept that happily ever after is not always going to be a walk in the park.

   I expect my prince charming will have his own flaws but I will love him not only despite of them but possibly even because of them. I don’t think he’s going to be society’s version of perfect but perfect for me. I see happily ever after as something that we will have to work at. I see bumps in the road, fights and times when it might not be easy. I also see us working through these times together and never giving up because it’s the easy thing to do.

   It’s not about big gestures and riding off into the sunset. It’s about finding someone who you want to wake up to in the morning and go to sleep with at night. It’s about letting go of unrealistic expectations and finding something real and right for you. Don’t let theses stories hold you back from your own happy ending. Life is what we make it and we control our destiny.